


Happy Holi-Rays!

by lastchancecafe



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: David Rose is a Good Person, Future Fic, Gen, Husbands, M/M, Patrick Brewer is a Troll, holiday fluff, just a bunch of, mentions of the existence of sex, terrible puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27719174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastchancecafe/pseuds/lastchancecafe
Summary: The bulletin board was one of Patrick’s proudest achievements at the store. He’d given up two open mic nights and complete creative control, but he’d managed to get David to agree to the small act of community outreach.“David, did Ray put something on the bulletin board?”“There may have been several somethings, yes.”An exploration of Ray's holiday businesses through the flyers posted at Rose Apothecary.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 42
Kudos: 130
Collections: Schitt's Creek: Frozen Over (2020)





	Happy Holi-Rays!

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SCFrozenOver2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SCFrozenOver2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> What types of extra businesses does Ray add on during the winter? Which of his regular business (real estate, travel and photography) are the biggest? What does he get up to with his friends Ronnie, Roland and Bob?

The bulletin board was one of Patrick’s proudest achievements at the store. He’d given up two open mic nights and complete creative control, but he’d managed to get David to agree to the small act of community outreach. There may have been some additional _persuasion_ in the stock room but that’s just a regular Tuesday if they’re being honest.

The point was the bulletin board had been up for months featuring a collection of flyers for several local businesses in a surprisingly muted color palette. Sure the kittens on Jocelyn’s Test Prep advertisement were kind of creepy and the promotional poster for Bob’s Bagels had no actual information. But people commented on the board when they stopped by, taking pride in all their community had to offer. Even Ronnie had offered an approving head nod on more than one occasion, praising them for supporting the community. 

And really, who were they to argue with Ronnie?

Patrick basked in the glow of his accomplishment through the little league flyers of the spring, the Greater Elm’s pride festival posters of the summer, and the Rosebud’s poorly planned haunted motel event of the fall. He’d grown so used to the artfully arranged display of terrible posters filling the wall across from the cash he _almost_ didn’t notice its sudden absence. 

“So I noticed something funny when I came in the morning.”

“Hmm, what’s that?” David dropped a kiss on his cheek and his tea on the counter before stepping around to put his bag in the back. 

“Well, it actually took me a little while to realize what was off. And then it took me even longer to believe it because I’m still not sure how it could have happened, but it seems our bulletin board has gone missing.”

“I thought, given that we’re moving into the holiday season, maybe now would be a good time to free up the wall space for more stock. You know maybe an offering of festive wreaths or-”

“What happened to the bulletin board David?”

“Okay, I have been very good about this whole thing. I only complained once about that terrible kitten poster that was a thing of nightmares but-”

“David?”

“So after you left yesterday Ray may have stopped by-” David steps back into Patrick’s space, his arms hovering over his shoulders in a soothing motion. Though it's unclear which one of them he’s trying to soothe. 

“Does this have anything to do with the bulletin board?”

“I just- I couldn’t. I know I’ve been working on offering my opinion a little more politely and I know it’s been good for the store but I just- _ungh_ ” his words trail off following his hands through the air in a spiral of energy. 

“David, did Ray put something on the bulletin board?”

“There may have been several somethings, yes.”

“And where is the board now?”

David pointed sheepishly towards the back stairs. They keep some of their back stock up here along with seasonal items, but Patrick can count on one hand the number of times David has come up here willingly. He mentally braces himself for whatever offended David so badly that he braved the bugs that are certainly up in the storage space. He spots the bulletin board clumsily leaned against a pile of boxes and slowly turns it around. 

“See what I mean?” 

Davids’s voice at his shoulder causes him to jump and almost drop the mess of red and green assaulting his eyes. Even he can see how this particular display has insulted pretty much every design aesthetic in existence. 

“He said he’d be back today with the rest of his flyers,” David whispered in his ear, sending an involuntary shudder through him. 

“Okay, I can see why you reacted the way you did.”

“Oh thank god. So we can leave it up here then?”

“David, Ray is our friend and a prominent businessman in the community-”

“I don’t like what you’re insinuating-”

“We have to put the bulletin board back up.”

“Oh hello gentleman-wow- have you ever considered closet reorganization services? I feel like they could really help you to maximize this storage space.”

Patrick thinks it's to his credit that he doesn’t scream, though he will admit to brandishing the bulletin board above his head-in order to protect his husband of course. Thankfully Ray seems unfazed by their startled greeting. 

“David I just came to drop off the rest of the posters I was telling you about. Let me know if you would like to borrow any garland or tinsel for the shop- I have some left in my trunk from when I decorated my car this morning.”

David makes some kind of choked off noise into his shoulder making it clear that Patrick will be the one to handle this conversation. 

“I think we’re good on the tinsel Ray,” he heads down the stairs hoping Ray will follow before he can suggest any other services for their space. 

Once they’re back on the main floor, he puts the board back on its nail trying to avoid David’s grimace. To his credit, his husband takes the stack of additional flyers from Ray and puts them gently on the counter before heading to the backroom to get the package of antique brass thumbtacks he’d chosen when they originally hung the board. 

Patrick busies himself hanging the new posters while David rings out the peppermint hand cream Ray grabbed. As Ray heads out with a cheerful wave David comes around and ducks his head against Patrick’s shoulder taking in the board with a sigh. 

“We’re going to end up using like half of these-aren’t we?”

“Probably.”

“Fuck.”

“Patriiiicck why is that thing on your phone?”

“Because David I can never remember the number and the flyer was so bright and just right there in the store-”

“A fact I have still not forgiven you for.”

“I know baby, but we wouldn’t look like very responsible business husbands- owners- _whatevers_ if we drove home from Heathers like this.”

“And whose fault is that? You were supposed to DD tonight!”

“Who knew goat’s milk eggnog would be so potent?”

“Yeah, that was unexpected.”

“Says he’ll be here in 10 minutes.”

David wraps his arms around his husband in a not so subtle attempt to steal some of his warmth. His wool peacoat is no match for the snow blowing in through the open door of Heather Warner’s barn. Patrick spins him around for a kiss before pulling him firmly against his chest tucking his completely incorrect puffer coat around them both. 

“Don’t be getting handsy-we’re representing our business here.”

“And no one has ever caught us making out at the store.”

“Well in the name of keeping things consistent-oh my god what is that!”

Ray chose that moment to pull up, lights shining, music blaring, Roland Schitt hanging out of the back window. 

“You gentleman ordered a ride?”

“Dave! Wouldn’t have pegged you for a rideshare kind of guy. You boys end up having a little too much fun tonight?” 

“Rollie!” Jocelyn swats her husband affectionately from the front passenger seat. Her arm gets tangled in one of the strings of Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling of the car and she has to fight through the tinsel garland to free it. 

“Oh my god-” David whispers to Patrick, unable to hide the horror in his eyes. Though he’s not sure if it’s directed at the _very_ festive car or the thought of sharing this ride with the Schitts. 

“Do come in gentlemen, your meter is running and we are at 1 ½ time surge pricing right now. Fortunately for you, your companions have already sprung for the Holiday Rideshare package so you get to enjoy the music and lights at no additional cost.”

“Mmm lucky for us indeed! Honey why don’t you go ahead and slide in there next to Roland.” 

The look Patrick gives him suggests he’ll be paying for that little stunt, but there’s no real heat behind it. By the time they pull up to the cottage David’s been treated to Roland’s migraine-inducing rendition of the “Chipmunks Christmas song” which was thankfully followed up by his husband, Jocelyn, and Ray coordinating a truly impressive harmony on “All I Want For Christmas”.

Patrick is still humming as David guides him out of the car leaving Ray what should feel like a far too generous tip given the horror he’s endured, but then again it is the holidays. 

In spite of his husband's best efforts, David is still not a morning person. Which is why he’d reviewed no less than 3 copies of Alexis’ itinerary, confirming her arrival time, before he agreed to pick her up at the airport at 7:30 am. 

It felt strangely good to see her face as she stepped out of the arrival gate, a surprisingly small suitcase in tow. Unfortunately, the three coffees he’s consumed have done little to prepare him for the intensity of her voice at this time of day. 

“Oh my god, David what do you mean you don’t have any cookies in the house.”

“I can’t remember the last time I saw you eat a cookie so excuse me for not stocking up before your arrival. Also, Patrick is supposed to help me make some before the party this weekend- Marcy sent us her gingerbread recipe.”

“Okay but like I said I would bring some to this little thing at Twy’s tonight-”

“And you just thought I’d have some on hand? When have you ever known me to _not_ eat a cookie?”

“I just thought since you have this whole married with a house thing going on _ugh_ I don’t know David.”

The fact that she’s pictured that level of domesticity for him is doing things to David’s insides and it is way too early in the morning for those kinds of feelings. Even if he really has been leaning into the whole _‘settled in a house with my husband_ ’ thing this holiday season-something said husband seems to be taking endless delight in and-nope. He’s not going to get into those feelings before 8:00 am. Especially not with Alexis.

“I guess you’ll just have to call Ray.”

“For what exactly?”

“Apparently he makes cookies-or at least delivers cookies someone else has made- I don’t know there’s a flyer for it hanging at the store.”

“Ew, why do you have flyers for other businesses up in your business?”

“That is a question you’ll have to ask my husband, the whole thing was his idea. But for now, if you text him he can send you a picture and hopefully, Ray can help with your little cookie dilemma. Though I’m pretty sure he’ll charge you extra since you need them tonight.”

There’s an exuberant surcharge-” this is _very_ last minute after all”- but by the time they’re closing down the shop for the day Ray has stopped by with an unexpectedly elegant arrangement of gingersnaps and butter tarts. 

If David snags a few from the edge while Alexis is going over a marketing spreadsheet with Patrick well it’s just payback for the 2 lip balms he’d watched her stuff in her purse. 

  
  
  


“David you’re back early-”

“Why are there all these children in the store Patrick?”

“Well, you see-”

“Oh, David so glad you’re here! Patrick was waiting for you to return before he committed to a Christmas portrait of the two of you and while I wanted to save you a slot we are filling up very quickly-”

“Ray, give us a minute. Let me just help David unpack the boxes and we’ll let you know.”

Patrick guides his husband into the store where a very frazzled-looking Stevie is standing behind the cash register. There are children, thankfully most of them with parents, milling about the store in festive garb in varying levels of correctness. 

“You didn’t tell me you were hosting a family event when you asked me to cover for you,” Stevie hisses as he gets close enough before turning to ring out the next woman in line. He steps in to wrap up her 5 bottles of wine which seems excessive for a Tuesday but then he notices the three small children milling about her legs and he wonders if 5 is enough.

“Funnily enough I also didn’t know we were hosting a family event,” he turns to his husband who is rubbing at the back of his neck. 

“So Ray is using your mom’s garden as the outdoor backdrop for his holiday photos and we’ve kind of turned into a waiting room? People have actually been buying quite a bit while they wait but I guess he felt bad for everyone crashing the space so he’s offering us a free portrait too-”

“Oh, you could sit on Bob’s lap David!”

At the horrified look on his husband’s face, Patrick is quick to clarify-"Bob is playing Santa in the portraits.” David doesn’t look reassured. 

“I thought maybe a quick picture of us in front of the store? Once things die down in here of course, but we haven’t taken one since we opened-”

David leans over the counter to stop Patrick’s rambles with a kiss and takes an elbow to the ribs from Stevie for his efforts. 

“We can take _one_ picture. No one will be sitting on Bob’s lap. And you will be the one mopping up tonight once we clear all these children and their slushy boots out of here.” He tries not to watch the way his husband's eyes go soft before he turns and goes outside to find Ray. 

David gives Stevie her bottle of wine, at the best friend's discount of free, and continues to man the register while Patrick unpacks the ornaments he picked up for the glassblower in Elm Falls. Patrick is right, every family that comes for a picture seems to stop in the store for a candle or some goats milk hot chocolate mix or a bottle of wine. By the time Ray is packing up his lights and Bob is walking away in a Santa suit that looks to be made entirely of red leather _-nope not going there-_ David is feeling shiny and flushed and not at all like he wants to have his picture taken. 

But he’s a good person so he pulls on his coat and goes to stand beside his husband in front of the doors of their store. Thankfully the carefully crafted window displays hide that the rest of the store looks like the aftermath of a fashion week sample sale. 

He’s just leaned in, admiring how the hectic afternoon has added a pleasant flush to Patrick's cheeks, when Ray pipes up from behind the camera. 

“Now are we sure we don’t want to add in the reindeer?”

This is David’s favorite part of the evening. They've settled into bed with their books, each on their own side of the bed occasionally brushing a hand or foot against each other to check-in. He’s just getting to a good part in his book, so naturally, Patrick chooses this moment to start a conversation. 

“So I noticed we still haven’t gotten a tree for the house yet-”

“Absolutely not.”

“Not what David?”

“I mean it. I’m not going.”

“Well, I’m not sure where else we can find a tree around here. Don’t you want to put up a tree David?”

“I’m sure Ronnie has an ax, we can cut one down ourselves.”

“Really?”

“Seems better than the alternative?”

“But David he’s got a huge selection of-”

“Okay that’s enough out of you,” he silences his husband with a kiss, rolling on top of him so he can’t get away. Or continue this conversation, honestly what he’s thinking bringing up-Patrick bends his knees, bracketing his hips and flipping them smoothly towards the middle of the bed.”

“I just feel like we should finalize the tree thing before we branch out-ow!” David bites at his shoulder. 

“I draw the line at puns in the bedroom. Seriously though we haven’t spent this much time talking about Ray since you moved out.”

“Your right, come here,” Patrick leans down for another kiss rocking slowly against him before pulling away. “I’m pretty sure Yule like the log I’ve got for you though.”

“You know you’re the worst, right?”

“Love you too.”

-*-

The next morning they do stop at Bob’s garage on the way to work and pick out a tree, more garland for the store, and another cord of firewood. After all, it's important to support other local businesses. If Patrick’s ears turn a little pink as Ray cashes them out, complementing their selection of wood, well he’ll just blame it on the cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holi-Ray's everyone! I had way too much fun making the most garish posters I could for Ray so I hope you enjoy.


End file.
